How to recognise & eliminate limiting beliefs.
A lady I spoke to started a business call with a limiting belief.
She believed that she wasn’t good at writing.
This lady is 52 years old, used to be a very successful accountant, and is now, with her partner, an EXTREMELY successful Digital Entrepreneur.
But she thought she couldn’t write.
Back when she was 9, a snotty school-teacher took against her, and wrote in her school report: ‘Fiona lacks imagination when writing’.
This poor lady, for many decades in fact, believed that she was no good, should give up, and concentrate on maths (her strong point). From that, she became an accountant.
Her whole life evolved from this one point; this one, critical, snide remark, and it held her back.
Now the truth is, this lady is obviously not bad at writing at all, otherwise she wouldn’t be a very successful online business-woman. Let’s put it this way, she isn’t accounting online.
Now, I was fortunate to have what I would consider, a good childhood, though it was by no means without difficult patches.
One thing I realised today though, is that I’m resisting a module I need to do. It’s about advertising, and I’ve been procrastinating for almost two weeks now.
And I wondered …why?
It comes from childhood. The truth is that, actually, I’m scared to put myself out there, because I have unconsciously assumed no-one will like what I do.
Now why is that?
It’s because most of my life, if my parents said no, or didn’t support me, anything I wanted to do suffocated and died after about a year of me going it alone, even up to today.
I made the mistake of thinking if they didn’t like it, and I couldn’t find someone else to help (which often I couldn’t) that meant that whatever dream I had was a rubbish idea, and was best left alone.
What a bizarre, incorrect assumption I didn’t know I had.
Looking back though, my parents suffered the same.
My Mother, for example, lived in a home with 5 other siblings. Only her father worked. My grandmother was crippled by arthritis, to the extent that some days she struggled to get downstairs. My Mum took care of her two younger siblings and helped raise them, so from a very young age, she had a lot of responsibility.
When she decided to go to university, my grandmother flat-out told her no. Girls did not go to university.
My Mum visited all her Open Days alone in the snow. In fact, it was only when my Grandfather finally stepped in, and said she could go if she wanted to, did she have any assistance or belief from her parents at all. But alot of the journey she made alone.
My Father was only one of three. His Dad was very academic and his Mum was a school-teacher, so he grew up apart from my Mum’s relative poverty. Sadly, my Father’s parents didn’t seem to spend a great deal of time with him either. He spent most of his days at an all-boys school, or eagerly watching steam trains pass by with his brother. I don’t think, looking back, he had much guidance or support, and again was often left to make his own way.
Unconsciously they’ve passed this on.
Now, I could blame my parents… I don’t want to sound vain but I am quite bright, and have excelled at things in the past that I could have been great at, given the right support.
Justin Woolf, (online entrepreneur and multi-business owner) made himself quite clear when he said we must all take full responsibility for our lives.
Not 99%. 100% full responsibility.
I’m not a child anymore, and we all have our own swamps of limiting beliefs to wade through and uncover. We needn’t waste precious time and energy blaming ourselves, or anyone else for not being more conscious, more aware.
As with all mistakes, the best thing to do is to learn from them, and let them go.
Be grateful for this new awareness. It gives you power to decide what you now want to do. Where you go from here, is up to you.
Fiona kindly allowed me to share her story. For those of you who wish to see it her blog is easily found at blog post: http://gregandfionascott.com/mental-blocks
So, share your beliefs. Write them down. Take time to understand where they came from. For as Russel Conwell said: “You are standing in the middle of your very own acres of diamonds.”
P.S If you’d like some info on taking care of your own destiny, and get access to people (like this lady, and Justin Woolf) who think freely, click here.