Hi there, my name is Pip, and I just wanted to share how to find bring more meaning to your life.
- We all begin lost
Sometimes, we all have down moments, when we’re not quite sure of who we are, or what we should be looking for next. Certainly had that feeling myself, a couple of times in life. It’s like everything’s going smoothly, (or relatively so), and then, ‘bump!’, all of a sudden the train derails, and something new arrives, that makes you question everything all over again. Often, it’s things we take for granted; things that make us, us and you, you. Like your family, and their structure, or a job you’ve been doing for a long time, or a career path you decided you were going to follow when you were yea tall, several decades ago. Then, something hits you that makes you wonder if what you created around you is really the right thing, or if you’ve just been going from moment to moment, without much fore-planning, and now here you are. Something comes up that was never in your periphery, and you think…’is this the life I wanted?’
You ask the question, and your heart doesn’t seem to know.
At first, you say ‘Yes, of course, otherwise it wouldn’t be around me. Of course I intended it to be like this!’, or ‘It must be the right thing. Otherwise it wouldn’t be so, or I’d be deeply unhappy. Surely something inside of me would have let me know, well in advance, if I was on the wrong path?’
Later on, you still doubt. Maybe you didn’t take a look at the other options. Perhaps you didn’t know there were other options. ‘Am I living out what I truly want? Is this me? Or is this just what everyone else does, and I went along with that? Did I…buy into someone else’s ways, or ‘The Dream’? Did I look around me and decide what I purposefully want?’
Such thoughts can be baffling, and often, more than unsettling. If we don’t want what we’ve got, what is it we do want? And how did what we have come about?
2. Why did we create what’s around us?
Personally, I think the education system has alot to do with it. We’re taught we should all want to succeed from a very early age, although no-one really explains why, or what this ‘success’ actually looks like…apart from good grades, completed homework and smiley-face stickers in our books. We buy into the system long before we know what the outcome truly is.
Now, don’t get me wrong, the education system is not ‘bad.’ Teachers often genuinely want us to do well, and to see us prosper and grow. Because that’s what they’re taught. And that’s not an unkind, or hollow, or malevolent thing. They’re not there to be cruel (although, obviously, I do admit, there does seem to be exceptions). They don’t invest in our education because they wish eternally bad things to happen for us! If they do seem to hate us, slash, hate teaching, even then, I’m sure they didn’t start off that way. But although we, in the Western World, are given undeniably good education, (at least in principle), we are not taught to use to create our own, individual way. Did you ever have a lesson on becoming ‘single-minded’? Or the meaning of life? We’re not taught to be on a separate path to the thirty-or-so other children in the room, or that it’s OKAY to follow your course/your cause.
As we grow older, we become, hopefully, more self-aware. We reach the point when we are truly independent of our parents…mentally, which takes a lot longer than any physical separation takes to occur. That’s when we start to look about.
3. Creating A Vision…
Sometimes, I, have this vision for the future. It’s something I’ve purposefully created, in fact. Often, it appears strongest when I’m at my job (I am a cleaner) at work, early in the morning (about 8.45am). I’m cleaning the sinks, and all of a sudden I have this weird kind of…realisation, or sensation, where my brain turns around and ask me whether I want this permanently in the future too. I ask myself pretty much every day.
Now, in truth, I can’t always answer that question. I like my job. Yes, it is monotonous first thing in the morning, but I’m comfortable.
Yet is it what I want?
The late Jim Rohn (Speaker & Entrepreneur, who was raised on a farm) tells us that unless we change ‘It’s gonna be the same!’
I feel like the day does start the same, and I can feel my brain groaning ‘What’s the point?’ I also had a thought, today, that I will get paid the same no matter how hard I work, or how conscientious I am.
Creating a vision means finding out what you really want, then working towards it. I was quick to push the above thought aside, because I realise this is me practicing working on myself, for when I need it. Self-investment.
As Jim Rohn also said: “Learn to work harder on yourself, than you do, on your job.”
But how to decide what to work on?
4. Assessing The Good & The Bad To Determine What You Want
Sometimes, when I feel that what I’m doing is less than satisfying, I fight my brain, telling it that today will be somehow different to yesterday.
Now, usually, it is, in some way, although I am doing more or less the same things overall, just in a different pattern. I try to make what I have okay.
Like me, though, you may come to a stage where your mind says ‘what’s the point?’ and in my job, I can see where it’s coming from. My role is quite physical-I spend cleaning areas populated by boots, rain, soil, crisp-packets, used teabags, bracken, and occasionally gardening tools.
Because I know it’ll be the same tomorrow, I often feel there’s no point going too overboard; as long as it’s good enough, I might as well crack on with the next job.
It’s a ceiling effect. Plus, my job’s not really mentally taxing. I can do more.
Should I let my life be just ‘good enough’?
It’s the upside things that hold me back from changing, and of course, there are some. I like the area, and I like the people. They are kind, and giving, and I am in contact with a great deal more people on site than most. I have good rapport with them, and they with me. So what I have is good, and I can’t deny I’m grateful. Still, though, I think there’s more.
Accepting an improvement on ‘good’ is not a sin, nor does it mean you are rash & negative about what you do have. It’s a tricky position, to retain gratitude, and still be working toward a higher goal. The truth is, our desire to grow is as great as the need for food, water and shelter. It’s just not a physical commodity. World records indicate just that-it doesn’t make sense to risk your life walking across a dangerously high tightrope, nor to attempt travel faster than the speed of sound, but both have been done. Testing the boundaries is human nature. It’s within you. Embrace it.
5. Making A Goal: Getting The Facts Right
Today I realised that I have never looked at the world through my Mum’s eyes. I assume my Mum feels a little lonely getting tea by herself, not having anyone about in the same household. Feels that now her kids have flown the nest, and have got their own lives, that they don’t care as much, because they’re not there. Feels this is just how it is, now her husband’s dead, but…
I know now I’ve transferred the way I think and feel onto her. I realised she doesn’t even have the slightest notion I’m thinking, long term, of moving back in. I’m sure she’s done alot of thinking herself; coming to terms with this new ‘life’, and decided to create her own new chapter. But I don’t want her to go solo, without realising I’ve been thinking too, and would like to be a part of that, long term. Communication is key.
Make sure you get your facts right, and don’t make assumptions, like I did. Otherwise you might end up working towards something that will incur its own struggles, simply because you didn’t share it.
Don’t forget that people have their own agendas, plans and ideas, that may not fit in with yours! So before you EVEN BEGIN to take action, make your ideas known, and get everyone singing off the same hymn sheet!
6. What To REALLY Look For…
My Mum lives 100 miles away. To me, that seems alot, but in today’s travel terms, it’s nothing.
Let’s face it: there are people out here with kids on separate continents! Crazy.
Now, I don’t want that. I don’t want to go travelling the World, being away from my family both chronologically, and geographically. Why can’t we just stay at home together? Why does ‘living the’ ‘Life’ mean fast cars (that get stuck in traffic jams), jet-setting, ski-holidays and big houses?
To me, that lifestyle means NOTHING. Especially, let me tell you, when those you love, die (my Dad died in 2016) and are not there to enjoy it with you.
Fast cars are not a real priority. Anyone who thinks otherwise is fooling themselves, because a life that is totally barren of something real to care for is worry-free, but also meaningless. Actually, it might not even be worry free. Possessions are great, but also expendable.
Now, you might say that people die, and are expendable too, but the difference is that whilst your mind desires a flashy car, or new phone, the heart demands something more, because you’re human. And what that is, is a desire to be connected. The desire for contact. For something more real than you can get from a shiny spoiler, which looks cool but is emotionally devoid. It’s not the same kind of love. It’s not two-way. Materialistic love can be empty, if you’ve not established some sort of connected, real, true love first.
Now, of course, you need possessions to survive, and it’s even better if they’re cool, or impress your mates, but they’re not the basis of true happiness, and you don’t NEED all these extras.
I hate to break it to you, but you do need love, or at least, connection-in some form. It’s the key to fulfilment. If you don’t believe me, just Google any entrepreneur, & see if they have kids draining their financial resources. To most, that wouldn’t make sense, but that’s because not everyone understands that money is only part of being rich. It’s not the whole pie chart, and when it comes to love & connection, the heart rejects all surrogates.
That’s why ‘Isolation’ is a school punishment. It makes you miserable by restricting your social connection.
However hard you try to fool it with your mind, your heart will know when something isn’t the real McCoy. And without someone to show that flashy car to, or to really share it with (even strangers on the road), the honeymoon period soon wears off.
7. The Joy Is In The Connection With Life
So, as you work on yourself, find something that gives your life true value. Mine is my Mother-yes, we disagree alot; our relationship is sometimes (often) hard work, because we have many differences of opinion (I mean…MANY). But for me, because she invested in us so, she will reap. She deserves that. Even if it means I spend more time in future pulling my hair out, trying to get my point across. And that’s why I started my own business. So I can move back in. My vision is not peachy. More often than not, I see myself living in ‘difference-of-opinion’ land. Still, I’d rather be with my remaining parent, disagreeing (strongly) from time to time, and reciprocating my love, than have no true connection at all.
I saw lack of connection in my Father’s relationships, even ones that should have been close. I know the alternative outcome. Be warned: it’s not a life of joy. Sure, it’s calm enough, sailing far from waves cast by surrounding vessels, but there’s no trade winds to take you..on. No-one to roll life’s seas with. No-one to share joy, or take sorrow with. There’s pain and joy in all things meaningful. Whether that’s people, or a craft, or an area. It still rains in Paradise for the plants to grow. Do not be surprised if, ‘Living the Dream’ , you still find bumps in the road. They just show up less, and are shallower. Life is not be 100% ‘great’, nor will it ever be. Just remember, even with that fast car, you will still pay petrol. And find traffic-jams.
So find something REAL.
P.S Here you can see the videos that started me creating my own online business, so I can spend more time & love with my family in future. If you just want some free info, with no obligation, go ahead!