Do you ever have those days where everything goes well, but at the end you feel depressed and low? I share with you how to create uplifting networks, (rather than just accept whoever’s around you), establish meaningful relationships and create a supportive web.
1. Today’s been one of those days.
Don’t know why. Perhaps it’s because I’m trying to build new things into my life, and it’s difficult because I don’t truly know where I’m going.
It’s hard to have direction when your vision is not clear. Written down, it looks okay-basically it’s about feeling amazing every day; choosing what I feel rather than riding the peaks and troughs of the world. It’s about feeling joyful, grateful, alive & happy, no matter what, which is what I do truly believe we all want to feel in life.
Today, I focused on trying to live directly in the moment, and not worry too much about what I had to do next. After all, I haven’t reached the future yet!
It’s important, I think, to build rapport, and to treat people with love and kindness. In relationship terms, it means you have to give more of yourself first.
2. You have to put the wood on the fire first.
After all, you can’t build a relationship simply by saying ‘Hello, good morning, nice day.” constantly to people. It’s true that we spend more time with our work colleagues than with our families, so getting to know them, and more importantly, learning how to get on with them, is critical; learning what makes them happy, how you can connect, what makes you tick together. That’s a vital human necessity.
The feeling of being connected is critical for our vitality, motivation & growth, because (as Les Brown says) “We grow from the people around us; we don’t grow in a vacuum.”
3. Why not to chose (constant) isolation.
Put it this way, have you ever noticed that elderly people, who live mostly on their own, without human interaction, sometimes don’t really eat? It’s not just due to lack of exertion to create hunger, it’s also a social thing. Often, they haven’t the drive to eat, because their life doesn’t provide enough stimulus. They feel no drive to naturally sustain themselves. Sad, but true.
I often choose isolation. I do struggle with relationships. I’ve just got back in touch with an old friend, but am really wondering if it’s worth the hard work, emotionally. Sometimes, though,we just need to give people a chance-who knows, they might be putting on a front or be full of bravado (ever done that?) By being our authentic selves, and not trying to please others, we can be the lifeline to others who resonate and are naturally attracted to us.
Can you believe it-just by being yourself you can attract the right sort of people? Much easier than attempting to be someone you’re not.
Ironically, some people who seem to have the confidence of the world before them, need a genuine example. We need to be willing to set that example, and be a leader by reaching out, even when it may cause us our own emotional challenges.
4. Who you should surround yourself with?
A true friend will be there for you when you go through tough times. It’s one of the best ways to tell. So think about who’s been there for you.
As the saying goes “A friend in need, is a friend indeed!”
If you want to know if someone is a true friend, use this checklist:
- Make themselves available when you really need them?
- Make you feel like you can trust them with a sensitive issue?
- Tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear?
- Avoid making you jump through hoops to win their affection?
- Make you feel you can be 100% yourself with them?
- Make you feel like things will work out?
- Offer practical advice?
- Act as an equal?
- Not pretend to have all the answers?
5. Relationships can be hard work.
If you look to one of my other posts, I speak about my best friend, and why it was so easy for me to keep that relationship up. Hard relationships vs. easy relationships are like the difference between walking into a restaurant and ordering something you really want, verses something you know is healthy, but you actually hate.
Not everyone is going to be your cup of tea.
In truth, getting the right friends, is, I think, as much trial and error as other things in life. It’s like wanting to be a chef. You’re going to cook many things that are slightly wrong before you are able to produce food, time and time again, that is right. It’s just fact. And it’s okay. People are constantly changing, so it’s important not to beat yourself up if you’ve been chasing, or investing in a relationship for a long time, only to get there and realise that actually, it’s not quite what you wanted. It’s almost there, but it’s just…not right. It happens.
Also, realise you have to give, as well as take. If you want someone to be there for you, you have to be there for them, too! It won’t all be plain sailing, and one argument or disagreement doesn’t actually mean you aren’t (usually) great friends. Remember-most people want to be understood, not told what to do!
5. Have a goal.
Look at your goals. Look at what you truly desire. You want people in life who feel the same way, and are going to help you get there.
I know it’s hard if, like me, you want to be a nice person, and get along with everyone. But, if you want to chase your goals and live to your full potential, you’ve got to be a bit more stingy with who you allow in your life. Scientist have shown that we turn out to be the sum total of our five closest associates-financially, emotionally, morally, and in all aspects of our lives.
Who is it you would like to be like? Write it down, then look for those people.If you can’t find them where you are, you HAVE to go elsewhere. How else will you reach your best future self?
Nice people find it hard to say no. Because we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings; saying no feels bad, but we can no longer drag people along at the cost of sacrificing what we TRULY want. It’s not right verses wrong. It’s good verses better. Okay verses absolute. Passion verses mediocrity. Fine verses phenomenal.
After all, you’re worth it.
P. S If you’d like more information on how to claim your days and start your own online business, get yourself some of our free education so you can see what’s best for you!